In order to effectively parent, you have to have a great deal of self-awareness.
We as parents have to recognize when our limits are about to be tested and find a way to assert our limits. You set your limits and affirm them with kindness and clarity. If we let a situation build up, and we get irritated, it is almost impossible to calm step in and provide clear guidance. When we get to this point of irritability, we are more than likely to yell or become irrational and not see the child’s behavior as separate from their person.
As a parent, it is OK to have limits! It is par of being away of yourself and your needs and balancing them with the needs of your child/ren and other members of your family.
What happens if you’re feeling like you’re triggered? This is when you need to take the time to observe yourself. Are you taking on your child’s problem? Is it bringing up something that you don’t like about yourself? Take a moment to observe what it is, and write it down. When you’ve calmed down, go back and process what the behavior was and why it triggered you. Most of the time, your child is triggering something that has to do with an unmet need of yours. Which is ok!
Give yourself compassion to see which need isn’t being met and brainstorm ways to get those needs met. When your needs are met (ie: your cup is full), parenting becomes more effective and less reactive.