Big emotions and time outs

Toddlers can be challenging, though they are not purposefully being a pain in your butt, they can be challenging.

man carrying child

When parents become too invested with holding the power and being “right” a serious power struggle occurs. Parents forget that toddler years are all about them learning how to do things for themselves and regulating those big emotions they were blessed with.

When mom/dad tries to take away all that autonomy from them, it triggers those big emotions and then ….cue tantrum. And though I’m not saying let your toddler do whatever they want, this is a message of pick your battles.

Parents often get fixated on the “win” even though they are not consciously thinking “win.” This leads to power struggles and toddlers typically thrive on power struggles (it’s a joke, you can laugh!)

If you are in a power struggle with your toddler and it’s no longer being productive, try using these tools. 

Stop talking and look around.

Is the world ending over what you’re fighting with your toddler about?

answer: probably not

Now take a few breaths to start settling down your system. Because mom/dad, you are too worked up.

Next, you’re going to *physically* take a step away from your toddler. The visual of creating space and the legitimate physical act of creating space tells your mind it’s time for a “time out.”

A time out referring to the tiff being too hot and heavy and it needs to take a break. So then figure out if what the tiff is about, is worth trudging on (pick your battles), or it can be dismissed and addressed later, when both of you are calm. Because honestly, if the two of you are worked up, there will be NO progress made. 

I’m here to REMIND you, giving in every now and then is not going to ruin your toddler’s adulthood! 

A tantrum is your toddlers way of expressing themself. Yes, they’re loud. Yes, they tend to happen in public. Yes, they’re frustrating. 

But, remember your toddler is learning how to navigate in this world. Being in public is a lot to take in for that little being of yours. 

Take those breaths. Your got this!

xx Kelsey

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