Marriage is beautiful, messy, complicated, stressful, heartfelt, satisfying, adventurous and courageous, to say the least. What’s the goal? To make it to the “end” with your beloved. That’s not to say there won’t be some major road bumps along the way. Marriage takes a lot of work and unfortunately, there isn’t a handbook for it (not like men would read it if there were, haha!) A marriage takes the constant reminder that you chose your partner, you dedicated and promised to show up and nurture the relationship for all the rest of your life. The road will get tough, the fights will get nasty, the communication may break down, the lust will vanish, the curiosity & wonder will try to sneak in, the urge to quit will fester it’s way in, the flame that once fueled everything – may die down…But that doesn’t mean it’s over.
The seasons of marriage are constantly changing. We as people, change as we progress through life, our marriage will too. The person we were when we said “I do” might not be the same person you’re married to 40 years from now- but that’s not a bad thing! We grow, we adapt, we find a way of accepting our partner as they are and embracing the changes to come. We do this in with the hopes our partner will do the same for us. How is that achieved? By the first thing that started the relationship in the first thing…talking.
As we venture through life together, there are will be times when we forget how to talk to our partner. More so, we assume they know what we’re thinking because we’ve been together for so long. But remember, we change as we grow older, so does our thinking. We must not assume anything. If you have a question, ask. If you need to get something off your chest, say it. If you don’t like a behavior or action, speak up. Our words are our weapon and our saving grace when it comes to marriage. We mustn’t forget that.
And lastly, simply try. Try everyday to put your best foot forward. This is the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with remember? No effort goes unnoticed, no matter how big or small. Show up, do the work, fight for your loved one, fight for the relationship, admire how far you’ve come and be curious about where the road goes from here. And always, say “I love you.”